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Plain language exercise eleven takeaways

Last updated on September 10, 2020

Sample revised text as viewed on Hemingwayapp.com (click to expand):

Screenshot of the corrected exercise text displayed on hemingwayapp.com

Transcript of revised text:

Hiring managers must keep competition files for at least two years. They don't need to submit them to the BC Public Service Agency.
 
This policy changed June 1, 2017.

Notice the following:

  • The new text passes all of the Hemingway App's tests
  • The readability score has dropped to grade 5 – lower than our target! Can you make it even lower without compromising the clarity of the message?
  • The phrase “competition files” is government jargon. We have not changed it because our target audience is government hiring managers, and the meaning will be clear to them
  • The word count has dropped to 29 – less than half of the original text!
  • The effective date of the change has been moved to the end as that information is less important than the changed policy itself
  • The reason for the change has been omitted as it is not likely important to the audience. Is there other information that could be left out?

Return to Plain Language: Evaluation

There are limits to the usefulness of tools like the Hemingway App! Don’t compromise clarity or lose track of what you’re trying to say just to make it easier to read.